she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Never joke about your clitoris.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
