You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize