he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
