i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My balls are so social today.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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