thus making me awesome and them whores
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
