I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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