I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
