Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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