I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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