if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
