I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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