Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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