am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
