At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
