Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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