FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
