i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
