Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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