bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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