"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
