I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Will you blow on my dice?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize