my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
