So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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