need another drink. this is the easiest way
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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