i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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