marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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