If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
