woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
