your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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