im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
