Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize