did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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