I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
