I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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