so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
