I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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