Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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