So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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