VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
