I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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