My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
