You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
