went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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