I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
