no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
