The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
