Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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