respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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