I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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