guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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