I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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