Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I am one with the molecules
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
