Umm I'm too high to move.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
