i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
