ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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