Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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