I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
