ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
