Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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