Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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