he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Randomize
