So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
